A personal reflection on ‘why we bother’ to create

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Dance is difficult. You are the work. I have had some moments in the past few years where I’ve thought – ‘ugh, why do I even bother, it would be simpler if I didn’t push, make and teach’. I wrote down some words reflecting on ‘why I bother’ yesterday and as others prepare for competitions and showcases in and outside lindy hop I wanted to share them.

For when I ask, ‘why I bother’

This is my most ambitious undertaking.
I have never had a core of dancers who were as gifted and inspiring to work with and choreograph for.
At the end of August, I get a video log of my canon of work. Also, I have a canon of work!
These pieces and ideas are collaborated on and co-crafted with other bright minds.
I have stared at my fear of failure and questions of self-worth and thought this simply isn’t true.
I have faced impossibility head on and moved like a river around it.
I have been my own buoy.
I accept I am artist. Because.
I love this process, and it is so uncomfortable and still there will be proof.
Proof that I will harness to give me more space to make.
To dream more vividly.
To put myself on home turf – where I belong.

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