Why does it take a plane ride where I’m trapped for seven hours without wifi to reflect? I’m lousy at carving out those moments for celebration and quiet…I think lots of people are. I’m four months into 2015, and it’s been wild – wild in terms of pace in my personal and professional life. I have been presented with moments of intense doubt and opportunities I previously never dreamed of. I have felt the tides of my heart shift in all sorts of directions and I wonder if it’s because I’m beginning to settle in, find my groove, find my sense of self in London – in my home.
I said in a blog post when I graduated from my masters degree that we were all pioneers who choose to leave our homes in the pursuit of knowledge and a global understanding of how the world works. I stated that I have spent more time alone in the last 18 months than I have in my entire adult life. I felt a kind of loneliness and personal strength I’ve never felt before. And what did that yield? It gives me a profound sense of gratitude for friends, family, peers and fellow wanderers. I feel more confident in my skills and aware of prioritizing self-care – although I think I could still do better on the self-care bit.
I need to remind myself more often that I’m alright – that everything is happening and to worry less. The kind of work I do – fundraising, dancing, community building – takes time and care. It doesn’t happen the way I want it too or when I want it too. It happens when it happens. And I could be more gracious accepting that. All I can do is hone my focus, be kind to myself, put in the time, train and build my skill and see what comes back. It’s outrageously hard and some days it’s easier to embrace then others. I’m doing so well, and you are to – but maybe some days it’s definitely harder to see through the emotional fog. Celebrate a little triumph today, however feels right for you.